My journey of overcoming childhood sexual abuse, rape and various mental illnesses has led me to new heights. I answered a healing call on Facebook for Nubian SiStars to attend the Nebula’s Healing and Cleansing weekend at the African Heritage Centre in Peterborough.
Sitting on the train with my cousin Denero Richards, I remember sharing my intentions for the weekend; I’d hope to achieve three main things: namely the sense of feeling refreshed, re-energised and to find clarity in my path ahead. As certain as I was about my desires, I was also aware this is the very first time I would be taking part in most of the activities on the planned agenda, so I really had no idea what to expect.
However the thought of taking time out to the countryside with my Nubian SiStars gave me a lot to look forward to.
The train journey from London to Peterborough was over in no time as Denero and I were fixed in deep conversations. We got to Peterborough Station early, so we walked around a bit, grabbed a drink and had a cigarette whilst we waited to jump in a cab to our destination.
One of the SiStars spotted us and came to introduce herself as Danielle; she asked if Denero and I were heading in the same direction – low and behold we were. This probably sounds more random than it seemed at the time, so let’s put it into perspective. Most people probably saw three black girls and assumed we must know each other. However we felt a magnetic force that pulled us together as we spotted a visible glow of energy on each other (possibly from answering the same healing call) – no one else could see it but we felt it.
As the three of us waited for the cab, we laughed and joke together without a care in the world.
Arriving at the African Heritage Center, we were greeted by the event organiser – Kat Wright – who’s also an old friend of mine. I was excited seeing her again as it had been years since I last saw her. I immediately noticed something calm about her energy; so peaceful, relaxing and welcoming. I was already in such high spirit and feeling a sense of honour to be amongst other Goddesses.
The weekend was filled with deep conversations, laughter, healing, cleansing activities, eating, drinking and sleeping. Here are a few pictures of the Goddesses as well as highlights of the cultural aspect of the African Heritage Center.
And here are some key nuggets that I took away from my experience:
1) Kat allowed herself to be used as a vessel to translate messages of the Goddess Oracle. These messages either reinforced my current journey or gave me new directions in my path ahead. Firstly, I had to randomly pick 4 cards from a deck of cards.
The four cards I picked were:
- Abundance – this reinforced how much knowledge and experience exists within and around me that can be utilise along my path. However I need to have a better understanding of how I’m wired in order to tap into my true abundance.
- Centering: this reinforced my current urge to create full alignment and balance in my life, particular in family and business life.
- Opening: this reinforced new projects in my businesses, personal growth and building new levels of romance in my marriage. The key message here is that as I enter new chapters, I need to let go of the old in order to be ready for the new. I was also told that the “Universe wants me to come out and play” I believe this is about the inner child whose innocence was taken at such an early age. I’m still learning how to ‘let my hair’ down without any toxic assistance.
- Nourishing: this was a key message to remind me to take better care of myself particularly what I eat and put into my body.
2) Deeper self-awareness and self-care:
- There are many conflicts inside me as I often feel pulled and pushed from one side to the other. Whether it’s to do with my parenting skills, self-discipline or decision making in business and personal life, etc. These conflicts are reflected in my dreams where I’m always in some ongoing battle – although I’ve not yet lost these battles, I still can’t see the end in my dreams.
- I also realised my brain processes and analyse information rapidly but it’s more effective if done in smaller chunks, so I need breaks/ time to myself to process and understanding learning points as well as clear out any unwanted information. If I don’t allow myself these breaks – just like a computer – I get overwhelmed which means I shut down in low mood and the information just goes over my head leaving me feeling lost and unbalanced.
Through the Goddess card reading Kat interpreted for me, I was reminded to take it easy on myself and not be as critical. The reading helped me to understand how circumstances have wired me internally to facilitate my own self-neglect.
For example: on one hand I have unsatisfied childhood needs “to not feel excluded from” something. This is reinforced by my adult-self’s desire to ‘be a part of’ something greater than me.
So the key message here is knowing when to stop and focus on my wellbeing which will come more naturally as I continue to grow to different levels of spiritual consciousness. In the meantime, I intend to use my level of awareness to be less critical and take better care of ME!
3) Reinforcements from my Ancestors: As confident as I can be about my path, I can also have many doubts particularly when things don’t go according to plan. I find myself being very guarded as I reflect to find new strategies and ways of doing things.
During my cleansing herbal bath, I was guided by Nebuela to focus on the burning fire on the candle. When she left the bathroom, I experienced something phenomenal! I saw the fire moved in various shapes and directions. To the normal eye, it seems that something maybe blowing the candle – but my third eye saw differently. I experienced my ancestors dancing passionately around me like a scene form a movie. I felt the vibration of drums beating, celebrations, upliftment and positive vibrant energies. I received a message that theywere pleased with me. It also felt like they weren’t just celebrating known achievements but also my path ahead. I’d love to feel like this EVERYDAY!
4) The importance of being still: one of the most vital messages I received was from Goddess Marie. It’s fair to say that someone like me who have fought many mental battles (such as abuse and mental illnesses) and continue to face daily internal conflicts – have a very active mind. This also means I find it challenging to switch off and just be still in the moment.
The entrepreneur and problem solver in me means I’m either exploring a new idea, searching for solutions to existing problems or preventing new ones. My self-motivation and desire to constantly learning new things means I naturally push myself beyond my limits, barriers and programmed beliefs.
Whilst mediation works wonders and bring me peace and stillness, my busy lifestyle means I don’t always get the chance to do it. Although I intend to continue pushing myself – I must be more aware of how my physical body, mind and emotions reacts to things around me. This understanding is vital for me to better take care of myself.
Overall my key learning points include: being in the presence, enjoying each moment, being more playful, take better care of myself and be Very proud of my journey as my ancestors are too.
Evidently, I gained a lot from Nebula’s Healing and Cleansing weekend– but most of all is clarity. I now have a better understanding of how the various elements in my past and present contributes to who and where I am and where I need to be.
This feeling is priceless and so empowering. Most of us live our lives and never experience such clarity. Some maybe struggling right now and would benefit from receiving the kind of clarity I did. If that is the case for you, please get in touch and I can share more with you or direct you to where you can find the answers for yourself.
Ps. this is my very first blog – courtesy of Nebula’s SiStar weekend! I am eternally thankful to Kat and Nebula for organising this healing weekend. Being inspired and empowered is one thing but taking action is key to growth and success.
Until then, your loving and peaceful SiStar