Change in Progress!

 In childhood sexual abuse, embracing change, healing, knowing your why, meditation, mental illness, mindset development, overcoming challenges, positive mindset, self-awareness, spiritual consciousness, survivor
Goddesses at Nebula's SiStar Healing and Cleansing Weekend
Goddesses Family at Nebula’s Healing
and Cleansing Weekend
It’s been almost two weeks since the Nebula’s SiStars Healing and Cleansing weekend.


Oh how time flies!

Last week I wrote my first blog – sharing some of the key nuggets I took from this experience –  and now I’m noticing so much changes in my life, including: 

  • starting my blog (it’s been on my ‘to -do’ list for far too long! Haha!!😅)
  • drafted my first ebook📖
  • planning my next BIG event – so excited!!😂
  • taken time daily to myself – practicing being still in the moment in my mind, body and soul😇
  • better relationships with my son and husband 💝💕
  • better problem management skills – already put to the test!😏
  • deeper self-love and self-empowerment💓

  • re-started meditation and more!🙏
I thought it would be great to do this follow up blog to share some of the things that’s changing in my life. This is important to me because too many times we go to an event, retreat or another activity that triggers such deep emotions inside us – we end up making many promises to ourselves and loved ones of all the things we’ll change in our lives:
I’ll give up smoking and drinking!” 
“I’ll go on a diet” 
I’ll never get back with my ex
I’m going to change my job” 
“I’m going to start up my own business

Sounds familiar?🤔

Action create changes
We then get home and everything goes back to normal i.e our ‘standard default settings’ resulting in little or no actual changes. I’ve experienced this many times in the past and I’m sure you have too. What these past experiences have taught me is that feeling empowered is the first step to change but taking action is what actually changes things!

Embracing Change?

I’d say my biggest change internally is my mindset development and increased sense of self-awareness/ spiritual consciousness. 
I feel much happier and peaceful – and with more clarity, I positively get on with what I’ve got to do.
I don’t procrastinate or moan as much. Instead I feel good about the things I CHOOSE to do with my time. 
I understand me better. I know how to get the best out of me – that is by LOVING myself more, looking after my wellbeing and maintaining a higher spiritual consciousness.
When I feel like life is getting too much, it simply means I need to recharge – like the SiStar’s retreat – to re-energise, refresh and reaffirm the mind, body and soul.
Now that I know this, all I’ve got to do is do it right?! Well YES and NO.
YES – in the sense that action creates changes
NO – in the sense that it’s never that easy or simple! But it’s worth it in the end.
First of all it’s repetition of the same or similar actions that create change!
Considering the way we’re wired inside, particularly if we’ve suffered any trauma such as abuse, neglect or violence – our brain and mind will try to convince us that it’s better to go back to the way we’re used to. Those voices in our head telling us we should just give up! Like, what’s the point?!  
On the most challenging of days, many of us give into that voice inside which releases us from the stressful situation – back into our comfort zone.
Whilst it’s natural for anyone to go through the process of resetting back to their default, the real problem is when we stay there because we’ve become too afraid to try again.
It’s like when we decide to “stay away” from LOVE because we’ve been hurt before and don’t want to be hurt again! 
But each of us must decide what we want out of our life on this earth. If living life to the fullest is what we truly desire, then we must find the courage and tenacity to keep growing and being better than we were before. This means we have to be ready for changes and know how to embrace with it. Two of my favourite sayings are:
I’m in competition with no one else but myself.” 
Each day my aim is to be a better me today than I was yesterday.”
Knowing our WHYs for wanting to do better – can help to re-programme the mind to keep trying.
When I get stuck or a bit unsure, I ask myself:  
What’s the alternative?
9 times out of 10, the alternative doesn’t bare thinking about especially when I consider the long term impact on my life and the lives of those that look to me for guidance and inspiration.
I’m reminded of the bigger picture and that I’m not just living my life for me, but for my people too. That’s when I get into the most empowering mindset –  Malcolm X: 
Malcolm X, Any means Necessary, mindset development



Take the time to understand how you are wired inside and how this can help you to adjust yourself internally to facilitate change and personal growth. Master this and you’ll find that there isn’t anything you can’t achieve!
For example, the thought of waking up at 5am to write my blog or my book used to feel so daunting and the alarm would keep snoozing until I actually have to get up for something else. I  procrastinated by putting it off each day. But now with a little re-wiring – when my alarm goes off, my energy level instantly rises, my mind says: ready, steady, action! and I get so excited at the thought of writing or doing whatever I CHOOSE to do!
In closing, these last few weeks has been amazing! The fact I’ve written and publish two blog in a week – speaks volume of the impact of the SiStar Retreat as well as my own character.
I’m excited about writing each day.
There’s so much I want to share! I’d also like to get your feedback on the kind of topics you want to read about. So feel free to drop your comments below.

Until then, your loving and peaceful SiStar

Tamar Nwafor

|Mother | Wife | Survivor | Multiple Business Woman 

PS. If you’d like to drop me a private message, please email me by clicking on this link.

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